How to use a ukulele to marry off your daughter

An interesting piece of advice (in the form of a story) was given in the Sarasota Herald of 6 November 1927:

There was a very likable young chap in the neighborhood and a red-headed girl [who] were fairly good friends — but nothing more.

So one day, the father came home and found his red-headed daughter sitting in the swinging seat on the porch listening to the likable young man who was playing “Red lips, Kiss My Blues Away,” or some such classic on the ukulele.

The father grabbed the ukulele and threw it to the lawn.

“Young man,” he said, “take your ribaldries somewhere else, you can’t indulge in them here.”

“Papa!” cried the red-headed daughter.

“What do you mean, sir?” demanded the likable young man, “Are you crazy?”

“I’ll show you whether I’m crazy or not,” said the intelligent papa, and he took his daughter in the house and told her if she ever spoke to that likable young man again he’d give her a good sound whipping, even if she was a girl and eighteen years old at that.

It wasn’t two months till the red-headed daughter and the likable young man were married. Papa glowered all through the ceremony, but when the knot was tied he took his daughter in his arms and said, “There, that’s one good job done.”

The moral of the story seems to have been for fathers to make sure they object most strongly to the least objectionable of the young men who’ve shown an interest in their daughters. Following this advice might involve some danger, but did you notice that the least objectionable suitor in this story played ukulele?

Published in: on April 1, 2010 at 6:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Did he marry her for her money, or for the Ukulele?

Hawaiian Gazette, 12 September 1911, reports the elopement of Miss Warren Mills (Toots) with Mr James J. C. Haynes, and their marriage — ill advised, according to Miss Mills’ family.

… friends of the family say the [the new] Mrs Haynes will not be allowed to touch a penny of her fortune. Mrs L. T. Garnsey, mother of the bride, and her aunt, Mrs Sarah G. McMillan, are shocked and indignant that there should have been an elopement. They are opposed to Mr. Haynes … and Mrs McMillan asserts that “never, never will there be a reconciliation as long as Toots is living with that man.”

[As for the young couple] “We are as happy as can be, and of course we do not regret what we have done,” and the bride glanced shyly at her husband standing beside her, who was emphatic enough in reply to that glance to please even an American girl.

On the night of the elopement, the door of Toots’ room was heard to open and close, and later, when it was investigated, her ukulele, and little red hat that had been on her bed, were gone.  A sure sign of impending marriage.


Toots’ aunt gave the marriage three months — “Why, Toots spent more every week, yes, double as much, as her husband’s salary amounts to in a month. He cannot support her as she has been in the habit of living all her life”.

As far as I can find, there is no indication in the news — one way or the other — as to the result of this prophecy.

Published in: on March 10, 2010 at 10:02 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Ukulele (and love) conquers all

Evening Public Ledger (Philadelphia) 24 January 1918, page 2, reported the following:

Ukulele Welds Two Hearts in Love Knot

But Soft, Black Eyes Had Hard Work to Subdue Stern Parent

The famous Hawaiian ukulele, which has had a lot to answer for, has made at least two loving hearts happy in the persons of Assunta Di Gullio, fifteen years old, of 508 South Bancroft Street, and Michael Perna, twenty-two years old, of 1525 South Juniper Street. They are now Mr and Mrs Perna after a long series of misadventures culminating in their marriage by Magistrate Harris.

Assunta, an unusually pretty Italian girl, lived with her father, Rocco, who did not like the attentions of Michael, although the daughter did. Perhaps it was because he played the ukulele (Michael, not Rocco). At any rate, the music made a great hit with Assunta and she wanted Michael. They knew that the girl’s father would not have it, so last Sunday, Michael took his ukulele and Assunta to Wilmington, where he got a license and they settled down to wait for the necessary forty-eight hours to elapse before they could be married.

In the meantime, father Rocco missed the dulcet strains of the ukulele. He also missed Assunta and Michael, and got his friend, James Julian, a private detective, to look the missing trio up. Julian has a sister living at 1903 West fourth Street, Wilmington, and thither the father and the sleuth went, arriving about two hours before the forty-eight hours were up, much to the sorrow of the two elopers, who were soon located.

They were arrested and the four started back to Philadelphia, still accompanied by the ukulele. On the way up to this city Assunta used her black eyes and winning ways on her father to such good effect that before the city was reached father had consented to overlook the ukulele proclivities of Michael and consented to the marriage. Then they found out that they only had a Wilmington license and had to hunt another. Finally the two hearts were made one by Magistrate Harris, and Michael, tucking his ukulele and his Assunta under his arm, went happily away on his delayed honeymoon.

Published in: on February 9, 2010 at 5:19 pm  Comments (2)  
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